December 2018

Question: I recently finished my second 10-day course and have been a serious practitioner of Vipassana for some time now.

One thing, or concept, that comes to mind for me that I struggle with from time to time is the striving to be equanimous. Buddha said that all our suffering is caused by desire, and we should free ourselves from craving and aversion in order to be free of this suffering. But he did not say this as the last word, it was the opening of a dialogue. For anyone who thinks about this for a time will soon realize that now I am desiring not to desire!

My question is along these lines. When fully embracing the concept of anicca, or impermanence, and striving toward a state of enlightenment where there is no longer any craving or aversion, aren’t we still striving for something permanent? In some of the discourses, Goenkaji speaks of students walking along the path with the state of enlightenment as an end to this path. It may take many lifetimes to get there, but he speaks of it as a real and attainable goal and end to the path. If this is so, aren't we now working diligently to cease our cravings and aversions, but at the same time craving this state being?

Answer: Your questions are excellent. As we continue to practice and apply Vipassana in daily life we learn that while it is healthy to have a philosophical or intellectual framework to guide us through a complicated world, it is our practice itself that gets us through what Goenkaji calls the vicissitudes of life. The “conflict” you describe, craving not to crave, can be approached in several different ways, and I offer you what guidance Goenkaji (and the Buddha) gives us. “Let the time ripen.” What does this mean? It means that as we keep meditating and trying to live a Dhamma life, our perception of ourselves, our practice, our understandings, all ripen or mature. One could argue that this statement is a way to avoid questions, but in fact we have found this approach to have merit.

He also tells us to work as hard as we can for the final goal and be completely happy with whatever happens. This approach is quite the opposite from how we have all been trained to identify a goal, identify the obstacles to the goal and go for it. While you can find many texts that support extreme effort as a prerequisite to any progress, these texts are primarily monastic in nature and we are a householder’s tradition, living in a very complicated world.

It is a long Path, but practice brings immediate and positive benefits to one’s life. We cannot will ourselves to be equanimous, no matter how hard we try. We cannot will ourselves to not have craving or aversion, no matter how hard we try. But through our Vipassana practice, we work to accept reality as it is in this moment as we try to have awareness of anicca in our mediation practice, and in our daily lives. We can strive to live by the five precepts. If we undertake these effort we are clearly heading in the direction of liberation.

Question: When can I do a free flowing (rather than part by part) scan? I often do not only feel free flowing sensations throughout the entire body and therefore have not been doing the flow scan.

Answer: We can only work with a free flow of subtle sensations when we are experiencing a free flow of subtle sensations. It's not that you are supposed to work with that--the instruction is telling how to work with the flow when it's there. So, if it's not there, just keep working part by part. If you have a feeling of a flow of sensations in some places on the body, you can sweep or move your attention through those areas in order from top to bottom and bottom to top without stopping to work on the areas where you are not experiencing a flow. When you work part by part, you will go back in order and work with every part--the parts you observed when working with flow as well as the parts that did not have a sensation of flow.
If you have no flow, there is nothing wrong. It is what it is. In that case, keep working part by part and now and then you can try and see if you can feel some parts simultaneously (because they have a uniform subtle sensation) such as both arms and then both legs. If not, it doesn't matter, keep working part by part. That's it. Trying to remain equanimous with whatever you are experiencing, and with the understanding impermanence of the sensations is the key to our progress--not the sensation itself.

November 2018

Question: I did my first 10-Day course in August. I have been on and off with my daily practice, sometimes doing 20 minutes, sometimes 30 or 40 in a sitting. And I usually forget Mettā. I struggle with consistency with anything. How can I guard myself from poor habits? I think I’m scared to invest so much time because I’m scared of being unproductive, but I guess I would be more productive if I did put more time?

Answer: How wonderful for you that you are making an effort at maintaining a daily practice. I would agree with you that it would be difficult to eliminate fear by first looking for results even before one invests the effort enough to see a change. As our teacher Goenkaji points out in the discourses, just being aware as you are of this habit pattern of the mind of doubt or self-doubt (one of the "enemies") can be a real strength in re-invigorating your determination to not be overpowered by it.

The habit patterns of the mind (for example fear of making effort) have had a very long time to develop and it will take time and patience to change them. To be most efficient, we do the work of observing the nature of the mind without expecting anything. Trust that the twice daily sitting schedule of observing sensations objectively with a balanced mind is working on this habit pattern. Even though it may seem like nothing is changing, be patient. No correct effort goes to waste!

I wonder what you are thinking of when your mind is evaluating if a sitting has been "productive" as you mention? It may be helpful when this thought occurs, to remind yourself that progress on the path is measured only by your equanimity, not judging these body sensations or mental patterns. In this example you give, that would include not judging the quality of the sensations as to whether or not a sit was composed of sensations that produced a "productive" sit or not. Just as a reminder, it does not matter at all what type of sensations we experience.

There is an excellent resource for "old students" you might have seen. These are recorded "Old Student Talks" addressing the topic of daily practice available at no charge through pariyatti.org [username: “oldstudent”, password "behappy"] https://store.pariyatti.org/Dhamma-Talks-by-others_c_543.html

Also of great benefit to supporting a daily practice is attending group sittings with other Vipassana meditators. This link will show you updates about group sittings in California locations. Enter the info [oldstudent ... behappy] . There are also one-day courses offered.

Additionally, students find it tremendously helpful to their practice to give Dhamma service.

October 2018

Question: Does it really make a difference if I do my second sitting at 1pm instead of after 5pm?

Answer: It's always better to meditate a little later in the day if you can, but now and then if you must do it earlier, then it's fine. The idea is that we're generating sankharas all day, and it's nice to wait a little later in the day to do our second sit to deal with some of them before we end our day.  

Question: I have a quick question: are menstrual cramps sankharas? I sometimes get such intense pain that I can't even meditate, even though I know that's probably exactly what I need to be doing. It might help on my stamina to know if they're sankharas or not.

Answer: It sounds like you are having difficulty dealing with some very gross sensations. Whether a specific sensation is due to some past sankhara or some present physical difficulty, we work with them in the same way. As best we can, we work to observe the reality of the present situation - whether it is unpleasant or pleasant - and develop equanimity with whatever we are experiencing in the present moment. Sometimes with intense pain this can be very challenging as our habit pattern is to react to these sensations with strong aversion. As you said, trying to meditate even when you are having this experience can bring great benefit. This is an opportunity to build equanimity and a deeper understanding of impermanence with this type of experience--one that you've dealt with countless times in the past and likely will experience countless times in the future.

When you meditate, if you find the pain overpowering, try working with Anapana (awareness of the breath) for awhile until the mind starts calming. When the mind calms return to scanning the body - head to feet and feet to head. As you're moving your attention through your body, it's important to not stay too long on the area where you are experiencing the menstrual cramps. If you find you can maintain some equanimity, you can stay in that area a couple minutes observing the sensation (how far it radiates, if there an area of more intensity, how it is changing, etc.) but then be sure to keep moving your attention, don't get stuck there.

And most importantly, keep trying. This practice is a very powerful tool for helping us deal with the unwanted things that come in life - whether they are physical pain or some other unwanted experience. Keep developing your practice and building your wisdom, and slowly your ability to face this type of experience with equanimity will grow.

Keep trying to practice two hours/day and returning to sit another course when you have the time available. This will help too.  

September 2018

Question: I attended a three day retreat in Onalaska and in one of the evening discourses, Mr. Goenka mentioned maintaining celibacy in the practice of Vipassana. Please explain further.

Answer: First, it is not necessary to maintain complete celibacy in daily life in order to progress in Vipassana. Mr. Goenka discussed celibacy in the three-day discourse in the context of summarizing the entire path that leads to liberation from all suffering, including the suffering of sexual craving. During courses, we are given the rare opportunity to live for a short time as if we were undertaking more intensive vows of sila- moral precepts, including celibacy. This helps the focus to remain solely on meditation by not indulging in activity that is for sensual pleasure or increasing one's craving.

As a Vipassana meditator progresses along the path of development of their practice, the craving, behavior, and mental action of sexual desire naturally dissipates on its own over time. This progression is unique to each individual. It is sufficient for a Vipassana meditator to maintain sila in all the 5 areas, including refraining from sexual misconduct by limiting sexual activity to within a committed relationship. One's daily practice of one-hour sittings twice daily supports the ability to ever-improve on sila. This strengthened sila at the same time, increases one's capacity in Vipassana practice. One is not breaking sila or hampering one's progress in Vipassana, by engaging in sex in a committed relationship.  

Question: I'm interested in more guidance on Metta meditation. Goenkaji only spends minutes explaining how to practice Metta whereas he spends 3 days on anapana and 6 days on vipassana.

Answer: Though we only learn Mettā on the last day of the course, it is a very important part of the practice of Vipassana. At the end of each sitting it is very beneficial to practice a few minutes of Mettā. During the instructions about how to practice Mettā, Goenkaji says that if there is even a trace of negativity we aren't fit to practice Mettā, but he doesn't stop there and he follows that with the direction to relax a little and then practice Mettā.

First, we examine ourselves to see if there are any unpleasant sensations in the body or negative thoughts in the mind and if so, we relax and allow these sensations and thoughts to subside. Then, if there are any subtle sensations in the body, anywhere, we fill these sensations with love and compassion. In Vipassana, we don't use visualization or imagination, but Mettā is totally different. When practicing Mettā we can imagine the feelings of goodwill and kindness to fill ourselves and then to radiate outward. We can mentally send these to specific individuals and to all beings. For some meditators, Mettā doesn't come easily, but as with Vipassana, it takes practice. Mettā practice helps us diminish ego and develop loving kindness. It is vitally important to a meditator's practice and yields great benefits.  

Question: I have been able to scan my body for subtle or gross sensations, but whatever part I'm aware of my eyeballs move along while my eyes are closed. This didn't bother me so much during the course, but now it's giving me a headache/pressure between the brows. Please help me figure a way to solve this problem. A couple ways I've found relieve is to keep my eyes slightly open during meditation, close my eyes really tight or going back to anapana after scanning a part of the body. I'm continuing to try new ways to prevent the movement of my eyes, but it's inevitable for me. Please help me discover a way to prevent the eyeball movement that's been giving me headaches.

Answer: It is very common for students to encounter this challenge because we are so used to using our eyes in our thinking process. It's good that you are aware that your eyes are moving while you are moving your attention through the body and you've developed some logical strategies for addressing it, but it's best to avoid the first two because they will result in their own difficulties. It's important to work with closed eyes with Vipassana because this ultimately facilitates greater awareness of body sensation. Closing your eyes tightly will create a strong sensation there and may cause added tension.

Instead, try to keep your eyes in a relaxed, neutral position (meaning they shouldn't follow your awareness as you move through the body) and whenever you realize you are moving them, relax them again to a neutral position and simply redirect your attention to giving more importance to "feeling" the sensation you are observing. You may notice that you are also visualizing when moving your eyes, even just a little bit. If so, that is also normal, but again redirect your attention to actually feeling the sensation and ignoring the visualizing.

It is especially important to not make a big thing out of this. Just relax around it, know it will happen from time to time or even a lot from time to time, and don't give in to the sankharas of expectation or frustration. Lots of us have this and not making a big deal out of it while applying the strategies I recommended go a long way toward reducing the occurrence.  

August 2018

Question: My question is in regards to karma and the precepts. In day to day life I am observing all precepts and meditating 1-2 hours every day.

Recently, there has been an increase of cockroaches visiting our house and for the past few weeks each time my husband and I find one, we catch them carefully and let them go with metta. We have also been putting in some preventative measures like extra cleaning and essential oils to deter them from coming inside. However, two nights ago we had four cockroaches in the kitchen area and I have reacted with great aversion to this. My husband purchased some Raid and we used some of this on the floor and this morning we found a dead little being.

Ever since my first Vipassana in 2015 I have not intentionally harmed any being and have so much sadness for harming these creatures in order for our place to be clean and prevent any illness coming to the family. I am so grateful for being blessed to have Vipassana in my life as this is how I came to stop harming others and any living being since my first 10 day sitting in 2015. I am very concerned about our intentions to remove these creatures from our house as I feel that this "last resort" is breaking our precepts that we actively try to observe daily.

My question is whether this will this create more sankaras in our life and add more karmic debt to our path? We have so much compassion for them but are not sure what to do to stop them coming inside.

Answer: Though many students ask similar questions, yours is particularly inspiring because it is clear that you are doing your best to keep the 5 precepts and have a daily meditation practice since your first course.

As you have come to realize there is no denying that intentionally killing any living being has its own kammic consequences. However, there are degrees in the strength of Sankhara that is created. For example if one were to kill a human being who is capable of getting the Dhamma vs. another living being who is not capable of receiving or practicing the Dhamma (ie. a cow), the burden of kamma is much stronger (or the Sankhara much deeper) in killing a human being. Another example would be killing a cow (which lives serving others with it’s milk etc;) vs. a cockroach, the burden is heavier with the killing of the cow vs. the cockroach. Please understand this is not to minimize the act of killing, or contradicting the importance of keeping perfect sila. But as householders we have to sometimes take actions that are the lesser of the two evils, in order to keep ourselves and our families healthy and protected. This is why it is so beneficial to go and sit at a meditation center on ten-day courses where we are able to keep our sila perfect by living the life of a monk or nun and not having to worry about these things.

Please continue to practice your 1 hr am and pm Vipassana meditation, and at the end after practicing Metta for yourself and your loved ones, send Metta to all the beings that live in your home. You can wish them to be happy and peaceful, and preferably not in your home. You can also remember the purity of your volition not to intentionally harm them and use that pure volition to wish them well elsewhere.  

July 2018

Question: I recently completed my first Vipassana 10 day course, and it was probably the best thing I've ever done in my life! I practice one hour morning and evening, and try to get a sitting in between if I can too. I have a few questions:

Awareness: My morning meditation is usually very messy. My body is dull, I have many thoughts and my awareness moves slowly. It feels like my awareness is split between noticing sensations and the flow of thoughts. Is this expected at my stage, or should I maybe practice anapana only in the morning?

Sankharas: Is it common/expected that old Sankharas arise outside of meditation sittings? I sometimes find myself overwhelmed by "old" aversions while I'm out and about, and I can't necessarily sit down and meditate then. I try to practice balance in my mind when it happens, but I guess that will only be at the surface level? Any advice for how to handle this?

Answer: It is wonderful that you got benefit from the course and that you have been able to keep up your daily practice. The difficulties you are encountering are quite normal. Firstly, it is important to keep in mind that with Vipassana, thoughts will often or almost always be there in some way or another. As soon as you realize you are drifting into giving more importance to the thoughts, simply redirect your attention to give most importance to sensations. You can also work with Anapana for a few minutes to help bring your mind out of your thoughts. Secondly, it is important to keep in mind that smilingly bringing your attention back is how Goenkaji encouraged us to work, not indulging those sankharas of self-doubt or frustration that often come up when we find it hard to work the way we think we are supposed to be working. If you remember where your attention left-off paying attention to the sensations, pick up there. And, if you're not sure, it's okay to make a good guess because otherwise you may find you don't get past a certain point if you keep starting over again. You may find that your difficulties in the morning will change and you will instead have difficulties in your evening sit, so don't give it importance. Just remember that difficulties are normal with Vipassana--as a matter of fact, they are expected and part of the process.

As for old sankharas arising outside of your meditation time--yes, it is very normal. We are generating sankharas all the time--it's what our minds do. Your Vipassana practice has helped make you more aware of these now. That's a wonderful sign. Just being aware that a sankhara is arising is a huge step and gives you the opportunity to change it from being a sankhara like a line draw on rock with chisel and hammer to like a line on sand. While it may not be possible to sit and meditate, you may find you can observe some sensations on your body and you can also try doing Anapana. These will help you mitigate your strong reactions. Remember to try to use every experience to develop your equanimity and understanding of anicca (impermanence) with whatever arises.

Keep up the good effort! And remember what Goenkaji would say, "Start again!"  

Question: I have 2 questions:
1- In the course I was told to feel free to change my position when practicing Vipassana at home but I prefer to sit with “strong determination” even during 1 hour practicing. If I change my position when I feel pain, it seems to me that my changing position is a kind of "reaction" to the pain. For this reason, I don't change my position and try not to create reaction including changing position. Am I practicing in a wrong way? Why should I change the position when it gives me a chance to be equanimous?

2- Sometimes during practice, I know that my neck bends forward. If I straighten my neck in a right position, can it be a kind of reaction? or I can feel free to put my neck in a right position?

Answer: Goenkaji repeatedly answered both of the questions you are asking--he said it is important to move during your sittings at home when you have pain or discomfort because sitting at home is very different from during a course. During a course, the sittings of strong determination are embedded in hours of more relaxed practice. When strong pain comes up during the sittings of strong determination, sankharas of aversion naturally arise. During a course, you have the more relaxed hours to work out those sankharas, but in your daily life, you will get up from your sitting and have that aversion or other strong sankharas on the surface. Goenkaji repeatedly clarified: change your position at home if strong pain arises and do not take a vow not to move. But when you do move, move with mindfulness of sensation and pick up where you left off in your scan.

As for your neck, he repeatedly clarified to straighten up to keep the back and neck straight. Again, do this straightening with awareness of sensation and nothing is lost.  

June 2018

Question: I have a question about physical symptoms I have been experiencing. My feet have been "falling asleep" or becoming numb in the middle of my sits. Sometimes this happens and sometimes it does not. Is it permitted to readjust when this happens or is this just another sensation that must be observed?

Is it harmful to continue to sit while the feet are "asleep?" Standing becomes challenging when I am finished and I have needed to walk around and increase blood flow when this happens.

Answer: Goenkaji advises students on Day 10 in Metta instruction and in the discourse that they should not try to sit adhitthana (seating of strong determination) and hold their posture during their one-hour sittings at home. His guidance is that students should change their position when pain (or numbness) becomes uncomfortable. This is because working with intense physical discomfort may bring up sankharas of negativity and then you would have to go out and continue your daily living with those on the surface and that's not helpful. The sittings of strong determination are embedded in a schedule of more relaxed but continued practice on a ten-day course. The schedule is designed to support a mix of working intensely and then a time to work on the things that come up without such intensity.

So yes, of course, please shift your position as you need to avoid and relieve the numbness. While you are moving you can continue to observe the sensations with equanimity understanding that any sensation is an indication of change.  

Question: On the last day of the 10-day course, we practiced metta. I remember his words, "May I be..." or "May all beings be..." However, I vaguely remember something about forgiveness regarding what I have done to others or what others have done to me. I was wondering if someone would please tell me what words he said exactly.

Answer: Some of the inspiring sentences Goenkaji says during the Metta sessions are:

May I be free from all my negativity, ill-will, animosity and jealousy. May I develop love and good-will, peace and harmony. May all beings be happy, be peaceful be liberated.

I pardon all those who might have hurt or harmed me, knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, by their deeds of body, speech, or mind.

I seek pardon from all those whom I might have hurt or harmed, knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, by my deeds of body, speech, or mind.

All are my friends. None is my enemy. May all share my merits, my peace, my harmony, my Dhamma. May all be happy, be peaceful, be liberated, liberated, liberated.

How wonderful and practical are these words! It's so helpful to practice Metta bhavana for a few minutes after each one hour sitting of Vipassana. Unlike Vipassana, when you practice Metta, you may use words and images (such as those of loved ones, or those who you wish to share your Metta with) to evoke love and compassion.
 

May 2018

Question: With regard to Sila, what about small white lies in our day to day lives that don't really affect anyone but get you out of a situation. For example, if you don't want to be somewhere, you say you have another commitment even if you don't.

Answer: The idea that "small white lies" don't really affect anyone is not true - they affect you. You know that you don't feel right when you don't tell the truth, and telling even small untruths will unwittingly lead to larger ones. We never want to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, but if we are as truthful as possible, that is less likely to happen. Do your best to find simple responses such as "I'm sorry I won't be able to be there." You are not obliged to have an excuse, but if pressed it might be fine to say, "I just need to stay home tonight" or whatever else is true. In the long run, you will feel that you have done the right thing, and your sila is protected.  

Question: What should my eyeballs be doing while I scan the body? It seems like mine are always rolling around trying to locate the part of the body I'm focusing on. I'm wondering if they should be moving at all. I've tried a few times to do the scanning without moving my eyes beneath their lids. This seems to produce a deeper calm, but then I end up focusing on the eyes instead.

Answer: This is a common question and happens with some students.

Whenever you feel the eyes moving as you scan the body, gently relax the eyes and focus more on feeling the sensations as opposed to visualizing or 'seeing' that part of the body. As you may have realized with your practice, seeing the part of the body, or having an image of it, does not help with feeling the sensation. With regular practice of just relaxing the eyes (when you notice they are moving) and focusing more on 'feeling' the sensations this habit of moving the eyes will fall away.

The most important aspect of Vipassana is to develop equanimity (balance of the mind) to all types of sensations (gross or subtle, pleasant or unpleasant) with actually feeling the physical bodily sensations and realizing that they are constantly changing and subject to Anicca.
 

Question: I have participated in three 10-day courses (including one as a server) 10-15 years back. I used to practice regularly till 2005 but after that, I gradually phased out. I want to re-start practicing Vipassana again and would like to take advice on what measures I need to take? Is it ok to start with one-hour group sittings and 1 day sittings?

Answer:Since you haven't sat a full ten day course in such a long time you might not be practicing the technique properly. As such, the ideal way to get back to the practice is to take a full ten day course where you can listen to all the instructions to get re-established in the technique. However, if you don't have the time right now, you can get benefit from a 3-day course though the instructions are somewhat abbreviated. Also a One Day course led by an Assistant Teacher will also be beneficial.  

April 2018

Question: I've attended one course in 2017. Since then, I've been practicing meditation for 1-2 hours daily. Initially, I can feel sensations part to part, then the whole body. But, after 30-45 minutes, I don't feel anything and I don't think anything. After some time, I hear a sudden sound on the ceiling and I feel like I am waking up from sleep. After waking up, I just do Metta and my meditation. (When I'm not meditating, I don't hear any sound on the ceiling of that room.) Is it normal to not think or feel anything in the middle of meditation (after 30-45 minutes) and then to hear a sound upon coming out of that state?

Answer: It is very likely from your reportage that about mid-way during your one hour sitting you are losing awareness and perhaps even falling into a semi-sleep or full sleep state. Then, it is very likely that in the process of waking up you are not very alert and experience some unusual sounds. All of this is not uncommon and you should not assign it any significance.

I would encourage you to re-double your efforts to remain very alert while you are meditating. When you feel you are beginning to lose your sharpness revert to the awareness of your breath and even at times use intentional, slightly hard breathing until the torpor or sluggish of mind recedes. At that point continue on with scanning your body with the feeling of sensations and the understanding of their changing characteristics.

Hope this helps. In short, there is nothing to worry about here and I would encourage you to keep trying.
 

Question: When I sat a 10-day course, I just used the cushions provided at the center and had a lot of gross sensations and pain in my back. After I completed the course I bought a meditation bench and that is what I use now, however, I don’t feel any gross sensations or any pain at all. Mostly I observe tingling sensations now--is this because I changed my sitting position and postures? Is it normal not to have any gross sensations?

As spring is coming and the weather is getting pleasant I would like to start meditating outside, I know in the course we were not allowed as we were learning the technique. I still struggle sometimes to feel sensations, should I meditate outside?

Answer: It’s wonderful to hear that you are making efforts to get established in a daily meditation practice.

Regarding your first question: As you may remember from your recent 10 day course, regardless of the cause of the sensations (changing the sitting position, the cushions, atmospheric conditions, etc;) or the type (intense gross sensations, tingling sensations, or any other bodily, physical sensations), the practice teaches us to observe the impermanent nature inherent in all types of physical bodily sensations. This objective observation of feeling the sensations and the effort to understand their impermanent nature helps to develop a balance of the mind, that is, equanimity. As we develop equanimity of the mind with regular practice, we slowly come out of blind reactions and purify the mind.

As for your second question, Goenkaji encourages students to meditate inside as there are many distractions for the monkey-mind when trying to meditate outside. So it is best to meditate indoors. Whenever your mind is too distracted or you are not able to feel distinct sensations, you can always start with Anapana (awareness of breath below the nostrils, above the upper lip) and when you start feeling sensations in that area, then you can start moving your attention systematically from top of the head to feet and back. You can change the speed of your scanning so it doesn’t become a monotonous exercise.

Don’t forget that the only measurement of your progress is not the type of sensations you feel, but the balance of your mind no matter what kinds of sensations you are able to feel and observe.
 

March 2018

Question: I have a question about whether I should practise Vipassana in the metro or bus? There are always people in those places--would I be too open spiritually and getting bad energy or vibe easily?

Answer: Picking up others' bad vibes or energy isn't exactly how it works. Really, it's the negativity in you that could tune up with that in others. But don't worry, with Vipassana, you learn just to observe it and not react to it. Any sankharas that come up are there for you to observe by observing your sensations, remembering that every sensation is a manifestation of some change or another.

If you try to meditate on the metro or bus and it doesn't feel right because you find you can't be equanimous with it, then better wait until you get home. Also, personally, some of us find it difficult to concentrate and feel sensations well on a bus or train with all the movement of the vehicle and the rumbling and all. But it's up to you!
 

Question: I am exploring the idea of practicing meditation using a mantra. Many of Goenkaji's Pali chants resonate with me deeply. I am an old student and I understand that Vipassana meditation does not use mantras. Is it an acceptable practice to include Goenkaji's Pali chants as a mantra for my practice. What are your recommendations? I hope to maintain the purity and simplicity of my daily Vipassana practice and invite in a deeper devotional aspect.

Answer: You are correct that our practice of Vipassana meditation does not use mantras or any verbalization. Goenkaji never wanted any of his chanting (Pali or Hindi) to be used by students as mantras, even for devotional practice.

If your desire is to maintain the purity and simplicity of your daily Vipassana practice it is advisable to never mix techniques. If you are intent on practicing a mantra, then it would be important to give a wide window of time between each, meaning a number of hours.

If you want to develop a deeper devotional aspect that is aligned and supportive of your Vipassana practice, that would be developing your practice of Metta. Metta practice is focused on cultivating thoughts of loving-kindness for all beings, and part of this is the gratitude and appreciation for all the good shared with you in your life and for all the good being shared in the world by others. Out of gratitude comes devotion. As your Metta practice develops devotion grows and grows. Keep trying to develop your Metta practice and see for yourself.
 

Question: My 10-day retreat was nine years ago. At this point, I can meditate sitting with my back supported and on a thick cushion. Also, I can meditate while lying down. I would like to attend a retreat but am worried that I will not be able to sit for a long period of time without supporting my back. On a related matter, I know someone who wants to attend their 1st retreat but cannot sit due to knee arthritis. Can you give some insight on these 2 matters?
For the long term, I am wondering how I can become a Vipassana teacher?

Answer: For students who require some back support we can offer blackjack, or a wall to sit against, or a chair. These supports are usually adequate even for students with back problems and also for students experiencing arthritis. We are more than willing to work with students experiencing physical difficulties if they show the determination to complete a course successfully.

As you progress in Vipassana one of the undeniable benefits is the wish to serve others. This service that can be expressed in many ways from serving on courses by cooking, cleaning, managing, or helping with registration, or serving as a Trustee on a Vipassana center Trust, etc. The old students who selflessly serve in any and all capacities and roles are the engine that enables the Dhamma to continue to be offered to more and more people via ten-day courses. Teaching is just another way of serving that comes after a long period of service, a commitment to living the Five Precepts, and a lot of experience with practicing Vipassana by sitting long courses (20/30/45 and 60 days) and maintaining a daily practice of two hours a day. Finally, when a senior teacher invites a committed old student to train as an AT, that person participates in a rigorous and thorough Assistant Teacher Training program.

February 2018

Question: I have a question about the technique. How I work: 5-10 minutes Anapana (sometimes more), palm size rough scanning couple times, then part by part thorough scan. My problem is that during scanning, my mind slows down and I barely get 1-2 full part-by-part scannings done in an hour sitting. Though I am not much concerned because I maintain awareness of sensation and equanimity; I just think I could improve the process somehow. Any suggestions?

Answer: It's fine to start with Anapana but it isn't necessary. Goenkaji says that you only need to start with Anapana if the mind isn't easily able to work with Vipassana. You can use Anapana anytime during your hour sitting as needed, not just at the beginning.

It sounds like your scanning technique is fine but it's important to vary how you work according to the types of sensations you have and the quality of your concentration. It's also important to try to work simultaneously and symmetrically now and then, and also now and then to work with a flow if, when, and wherever there is one. It's also important to vary the size of the area you're scanning according to the quality of your awareness and the type of sensations you're experiencing.

Remember, when you do go back to part by part, always survey every part in order--the parts you could feel as well as the parts you couldn't feel when working with flow or simultaneously and symmetrically.

Question: My question is in regards to the specifics of "scanning the body" observing sensation. I'm not sure of the order (if any) I should be "scanning " the body. What I have been doing is focusing my attention on the body the way water would flow from my head to my toes. I start from the head, down the arms to the tips of the fingers. then I go from the armpits and down the remainder of the body to the feet. Is this correct. Also, gross sensations are becoming less frequently observed. More often I observe a more subtle buzzing or tingling sensation. Is this normal?

Answer: There are three basic ways to scan the body in our presentation of Vipassana as taught by Goenkaji: part-by-part from head to feet and feet to head, simultaneously and symmetrically on any parts that can be felt from head to feet and feet to head, and with a free or partial free flow from head to feet and feet to head. How you work depends on the kinds of sensations you are experiencing. However, even if there is free flow throughout the body, the instructions are to frequently return to working part-by-part to survey or scan the body in more detail. The order you describe is fine--the key is working in a continuous order in one direction at a time starting from top to bottom, and then back up from bottom to top. This is so that no parts are left out, but also to allow the learning of how to work with a continuous flow and to avoid choosing certain kinds of sensations.

It is not unusual that gross sensations become less frequent. It is very likely that they will come back now and then, and this is also not unusual. The subtle buzzing and tingling are also normal sensations to be observed when practicing Vipassana. Remember to continue to develop your understanding of anicca through your observation of any sensations. The point of this observation of sensation is to develop our equanimity as well as our awareness.

November 2017

Question: For some time I have felt that my practice has stagnated and has not crossed the "stations" that Mr. Goenka talks about in the latter discourses of the 10-day course. I also feel that I could not definitively say that a daily practice was having much of an impact on day to day life.
In particular, I have never reached the point of "uniform subtle sensations across the body" or "bhanga", which some of the nightly discourses say some may feel on day 7 & on. While I don't think I have a strong craving for the experience in all this time, I have wondered if I am doing something wrong that is preventing me from "graduating" from primarily strong bodily pain sensations to even occasional subtle sensations.

Answer: Our inherent craving prevents us from being able to accept reality as it is. This craving is insidious, unwelcome and a big contributor to unease. Alas, this is the human condition of suffering that the practice of Vipassana attempts to remove. Realistically, we are not going to turn the table so quickly. We simply have to persist and persevere. But we don't do this blindly, instead we take a macro-aspect of self-reflection that people who continue with the practice attest to positive changes taking place, even if it's not at the pace their craving desires.

The Buddha taught two things regarding the path: start, and continue!

Question: Another question is that on day 8 of the course I finished last week, I got to a point where basically the pain pathways in my legs/ back, etc. just shut down, and I felt like an extremely still/quiet lake of water, and I could finally sit motionless for an hour or even 90 minutes scanning up and down--but I had no "uniform subtle sensations". For some time I wondered whether my body had just gone blank or I was being delusional, but I was fully aware and not drowsy. Since getting back home I have continued to experience the point of shutdown of pain pathways, and an ability to sit in adhitthana for the entire hour.

My question is: is this the uniform subtle sensation that Mr. Goenka talks about, or even "bhanga" that he cautions about developing craving for? As I write this, I recognize that there is some desire in me that it is indeed "Bhanga," but only from the standpoint of hoping it reflects passing a station that a practitioner is "bound to cross" as he says. But there is also a practical aspect--in that does this mean I can begin the "piercing/ internal scanning" as well?

Answer: While it is likely that this "new" experience you had on Day 8 of your last course falls within the spectrum of bhanga you should not assign it undue importance. Remember your development is never characterized by the type of experience, i.e. sensation; it is only through increasing equanimity that purification of mind is obtained. Now, the key to equanimity is the understanding of impermanence. Prioritizing this understanding with the evidence of the realization of the changing nature (anicca) of sensations will not only temper the swings of your craving, it will gradually reduce them and in time will actually eradicate the craving altogether. That this is a productive thing to pursue is not something you'll have to ask anyone about - it'll be evident in the overall improvement of all aspects of your life. But don't expect miracles. Though it's a long path, it is a self-reinforcing one at every step.

July 2017

Question: When I'm meditating and observing my sensations sometimes I stop at a gross sensation and just observe it a little longer. I don't remember why I do this. Is this a correct way to practice?

Answer: When you're working part by part, it's okay to pause and spend a little longer at gross sensations with the idea of giving yourself more time to observe the boundaries of the sensation, where the center of it is, etc. all with the understanding of anicca, i.e., impermanence. It is often more difficult to perceive that the gross sensations are an indication of change and spending a little longer there can help to observe this better. But never stay longer than a minute or two and if your mind is too distracted by staying there, then stay for less time. If you are working simultaneously through the body, or working with a flow, don't stop to observe the gross sensations. Only do this when you're working part-by-part.

Question: How do parents of young children manage the one hour in the morning and night meditation? Is it ok to do two hours total in a day but break it up to when time and children allow? This is a very big Challenge for me.

Answer: There is not one answer for how parents manage their two hours a day. Goenkaji would always answer that children come first and there are often times in a Vipassana meditator-parent's life when they have to compromise their sitting to be available for their children. Do this with as much equanimity and compassion as possible and understand that a time will come--if it is important to you--when you will have the uninterrupted time to meditate again when the children are older. Do what you can with your daily practice and trust that your intention to keep your practice going will sustain you in times when you are able to give it less time than is possible for the sake of your children.

March 2017

Question: I have Asthma. In the week after my last 10-day course, the symptoms of wheezing and shortness of breath have been increasing. Last night, I had to go to the emergency room for an emergency, and they prescribed medications. Usually, I avoid taking any medications. I have an inhaler that I use periodically, but that is all. I have been keeping up with my twice daily sittings and keeping with the five precepts. Any advice would be grateful.

Answer: Sorry to hear of your asthma attack. I am confident in asserting that Vipassana practice or your recent course activity has nothing to do with either precipitating or adversely affecting this attack. I would advise you to follow your doctor's advice re treatment.

Where Vipassana can help is in training you to remain calm and less agitated when passing through any stressful situation. I think that medical treatment is made more effective and efficacious when the patient does not complicate the illness with unnecessary agitation and worry.

Strengthening yourself with a regular daily practice can only help at times like this. Be sure you are practicing as properly as you can recalling the fundamentals of developing awareness and balance of mind. Use breath awareness as and when necessary and bear in mind the impermanence of each and every experience you encounter as you move your attention within the body feeling sensations. When and if worry or fear or doubt should arise, realize there is simultaneously an attendant bodily sensation also arising and that by definition this appearance and disappearance is impermanent. This will keep you grounded in all situations.

Best wishes for a return to good health.

Question: I have been meditating for several years. In general, the sits have been peaceful, and I come out refreshed, energized and often very peaceful. However, there was one occasion recently when the samadhi was good and I experienced a few moments of the impermanence of my sense of me. However, almost as soon as I realized this a great fear arose ... am I losing my mind? Could I go completely unhinged if this state continues? And these thoughts pulled me out of the samadhi.
I have been fine since then and have continued to meditate as before.

My question is: how do I deal with such fears when they arise? Can I do something that will prolong the focus and concentration, instead of disturbing it completely?

Answer: Yes, your samadhi may have been good but when a defilement of fear arose strongly it was accompanied by another namely, ignorance. And this, in turn, prompted another one, aversion. Here you were trying to practice Vipassana, i.e. trying to cultivate a non-reactive awareness of bodily sensations based on impermanence. But when a strong mental defilement of fear arose you immediately reacted: "Oh, what's wrong, am I losing it ?" All sense of impermanence was momentarily lost in this reaction and fear and aversion were allowed to run rampant.

This is the age old conditioned play of the mind: to be constantly reacting blindly with an aversion to unwanted experiences; always over-reacting with the false notion that the experience is permanent. When we can bring the awareness of the true nature of all experience to bear and realize impermanence we have a chance to begin to eradicate fear, facing it full on and watching it lose its grip on us. In time and with development in Vipassana fearlessness results. And this is how it is accomplished: via the constant and thorough understanding of impermanence at the level of bodily sensations.

Don't regret this prior experience. It is only by recognizing actionable mistakes that progress is made. But the next time a strong emotion like fear arises, dismiss and pay no attention to the accompanying mental narrative and try to remain aware of the accompanying sensations with their constant presentation of impermanence.

Repeatedly bringing yourself back to balance increases the mastery of equanimity banishing all fear. Then like a thick post sunk deep into the ground one becomes unshakeable.

Question: I recently sat a 10-day course. Here are a few questions I want to ask.

Question 1. When I finish scanning a particular area, e.g. the top of the head or the face and go on to the right shoulder, arm and hand, I will frequently get a distinct sensation back in the area just finished. Should I go back and observe that sensation until is disappears, or ignore it and continue to look for new sensations?

Answer: The instructions in our tradition are to always keep the attention (i.e., observation of sensation) moving in order through the body. As soon as you experience a sensation in a spot, move further. If a different or stronger sensation in that area comes up after you move away from it, don't jump back. The idea is to observe and accept whatever is arising in a given moment in the area that you are surveying, using the sensation (subtle, gross--whatever) to develop your awareness of anicca, i.e., change or impermanence. Practicing this attitude of acceptance of whatever sensation you can be aware of in a given movement is what trains the mind toward stronger and stronger equanimity.

Question 2. Although I observe some sensations from "within" I usually have more from outside, i.e. pressure of clothing, the bench I'm sitting on or the cushion against my feet. These do not disappear, so just observe them for a while and move on?

Answer: When students first start practicing Vipassana in our tradition, it's common for them to think they are supposed to observe sensations until they change or disappear, but this is not the case. I've often had students come to me saying, "I keep observing it but the pain isn't going away!" I often reply, "The idea isn't to make the pain go away, but to make the mental suffering with the pain go away." We do this by patiently training our minds to accept and observe whatever sensation we are aware of in that part of the body at that moment, observing whatever we can about it.

With things like tingling, pulsing or vibrating, for example, it's easy to feel the "change" in them. But with sensations that feel more solid or dull, we may not be able to be aware of the change but we can still cultivate our understanding that any sensation we are feeling is an indication of change. Sensations are the means to develop our understanding of anicca and our attitude of equanimity, they are not the goal. Any sensation will serve these purposes, including the feeling of clothing, pressure, etc. on the skin or body.

It is not necessary to work inside the body and we don't advise it until it is easy to feel sensations everywhere on the surface of the body and it is easy to move the attention through them in a flow or sweeping movement without blocks. Once this happens, it's usually easier to observe inside. Not that this is better, either. It's just another place to observe sensations. Let it happen naturally.

Question 3. Occasionally the sensation is a pulsing heartbeat, often in the hands or fingers, which continues a long time. So, stay with it even for 10-15 minutes or more?

Answer: As soon as you feel a sensation move further. As I explained above, we do not wait for sensations to go away, or even for us to be able to identify a feeling of change in them if this is not quickly apparent. Sometimes, when the mind is quite concentrated, we can move more slowly and methodically and then spend a little more time (a minute or two) on areas that are apparently blind or blank or have pain to give ourselves time to explore the area. But again, we do this with an attitude of observation of what is there, not trying to make something happen.

Pulsing is a perfectly acceptable sensation to observe. As Goenkaji once told me when I asked him about observing pulsing sensations, "Everything in the universe is pulsing!" Just observe and move further.