November 2017

Question: For some time I have felt that my practice has stagnated and has not crossed the "stations" that Mr. Goenka talks about in the latter discourses of the 10-day course. I also feel that I could not definitively say that a daily practice was having much of an impact on day to day life.
In particular, I have never reached the point of "uniform subtle sensations across the body" or "bhanga", which some of the nightly discourses say some may feel on day 7 & on. While I don't think I have a strong craving for the experience in all this time, I have wondered if I am doing something wrong that is preventing me from "graduating" from primarily strong bodily pain sensations to even occasional subtle sensations.

Answer: Our inherent craving prevents us from being able to accept reality as it is. This craving is insidious, unwelcome and a big contributor to unease. Alas, this is the human condition of suffering that the practice of Vipassana attempts to remove. Realistically, we are not going to turn the table so quickly. We simply have to persist and persevere. But we don't do this blindly, instead we take a macro-aspect of self-reflection that people who continue with the practice attest to positive changes taking place, even if it's not at the pace their craving desires.

The Buddha taught two things regarding the path: start, and continue!

Question: Another question is that on day 8 of the course I finished last week, I got to a point where basically the pain pathways in my legs/ back, etc. just shut down, and I felt like an extremely still/quiet lake of water, and I could finally sit motionless for an hour or even 90 minutes scanning up and down--but I had no "uniform subtle sensations". For some time I wondered whether my body had just gone blank or I was being delusional, but I was fully aware and not drowsy. Since getting back home I have continued to experience the point of shutdown of pain pathways, and an ability to sit in adhitthana for the entire hour.

My question is: is this the uniform subtle sensation that Mr. Goenka talks about, or even "bhanga" that he cautions about developing craving for? As I write this, I recognize that there is some desire in me that it is indeed "Bhanga," but only from the standpoint of hoping it reflects passing a station that a practitioner is "bound to cross" as he says. But there is also a practical aspect--in that does this mean I can begin the "piercing/ internal scanning" as well?

Answer: While it is likely that this "new" experience you had on Day 8 of your last course falls within the spectrum of bhanga you should not assign it undue importance. Remember your development is never characterized by the type of experience, i.e. sensation; it is only through increasing equanimity that purification of mind is obtained. Now, the key to equanimity is the understanding of impermanence. Prioritizing this understanding with the evidence of the realization of the changing nature (anicca) of sensations will not only temper the swings of your craving, it will gradually reduce them and in time will actually eradicate the craving altogether. That this is a productive thing to pursue is not something you'll have to ask anyone about - it'll be evident in the overall improvement of all aspects of your life. But don't expect miracles. Though it's a long path, it is a self-reinforcing one at every step.

July 2017

Question: When I'm meditating and observing my sensations sometimes I stop at a gross sensation and just observe it a little longer. I don't remember why I do this. Is this a correct way to practice?

Answer: When you're working part by part, it's okay to pause and spend a little longer at gross sensations with the idea of giving yourself more time to observe the boundaries of the sensation, where the center of it is, etc. all with the understanding of anicca, i.e., impermanence. It is often more difficult to perceive that the gross sensations are an indication of change and spending a little longer there can help to observe this better. But never stay longer than a minute or two and if your mind is too distracted by staying there, then stay for less time. If you are working simultaneously through the body, or working with a flow, don't stop to observe the gross sensations. Only do this when you're working part-by-part.

Question: How do parents of young children manage the one hour in the morning and night meditation? Is it ok to do two hours total in a day but break it up to when time and children allow? This is a very big Challenge for me.

Answer: There is not one answer for how parents manage their two hours a day. Goenkaji would always answer that children come first and there are often times in a Vipassana meditator-parent's life when they have to compromise their sitting to be available for their children. Do this with as much equanimity and compassion as possible and understand that a time will come--if it is important to you--when you will have the uninterrupted time to meditate again when the children are older. Do what you can with your daily practice and trust that your intention to keep your practice going will sustain you in times when you are able to give it less time than is possible for the sake of your children.

March 2017

Question: I have Asthma. In the week after my last 10-day course, the symptoms of wheezing and shortness of breath have been increasing. Last night, I had to go to the emergency room for an emergency, and they prescribed medications. Usually, I avoid taking any medications. I have an inhaler that I use periodically, but that is all. I have been keeping up with my twice daily sittings and keeping with the five precepts. Any advice would be grateful.

Answer: Sorry to hear of your asthma attack. I am confident in asserting that Vipassana practice or your recent course activity has nothing to do with either precipitating or adversely affecting this attack. I would advise you to follow your doctor's advice re treatment.

Where Vipassana can help is in training you to remain calm and less agitated when passing through any stressful situation. I think that medical treatment is made more effective and efficacious when the patient does not complicate the illness with unnecessary agitation and worry.

Strengthening yourself with a regular daily practice can only help at times like this. Be sure you are practicing as properly as you can recalling the fundamentals of developing awareness and balance of mind. Use breath awareness as and when necessary and bear in mind the impermanence of each and every experience you encounter as you move your attention within the body feeling sensations. When and if worry or fear or doubt should arise, realize there is simultaneously an attendant bodily sensation also arising and that by definition this appearance and disappearance is impermanent. This will keep you grounded in all situations.

Best wishes for a return to good health.

Question: I have been meditating for several years. In general, the sits have been peaceful, and I come out refreshed, energized and often very peaceful. However, there was one occasion recently when the samadhi was good and I experienced a few moments of the impermanence of my sense of me. However, almost as soon as I realized this a great fear arose ... am I losing my mind? Could I go completely unhinged if this state continues? And these thoughts pulled me out of the samadhi.
I have been fine since then and have continued to meditate as before.

My question is: how do I deal with such fears when they arise? Can I do something that will prolong the focus and concentration, instead of disturbing it completely?

Answer: Yes, your samadhi may have been good but when a defilement of fear arose strongly it was accompanied by another namely, ignorance. And this, in turn, prompted another one, aversion. Here you were trying to practice Vipassana, i.e. trying to cultivate a non-reactive awareness of bodily sensations based on impermanence. But when a strong mental defilement of fear arose you immediately reacted: "Oh, what's wrong, am I losing it ?" All sense of impermanence was momentarily lost in this reaction and fear and aversion were allowed to run rampant.

This is the age old conditioned play of the mind: to be constantly reacting blindly with an aversion to unwanted experiences; always over-reacting with the false notion that the experience is permanent. When we can bring the awareness of the true nature of all experience to bear and realize impermanence we have a chance to begin to eradicate fear, facing it full on and watching it lose its grip on us. In time and with development in Vipassana fearlessness results. And this is how it is accomplished: via the constant and thorough understanding of impermanence at the level of bodily sensations.

Don't regret this prior experience. It is only by recognizing actionable mistakes that progress is made. But the next time a strong emotion like fear arises, dismiss and pay no attention to the accompanying mental narrative and try to remain aware of the accompanying sensations with their constant presentation of impermanence.

Repeatedly bringing yourself back to balance increases the mastery of equanimity banishing all fear. Then like a thick post sunk deep into the ground one becomes unshakeable.

Question: I recently sat a 10-day course. Here are a few questions I want to ask.

Question 1. When I finish scanning a particular area, e.g. the top of the head or the face and go on to the right shoulder, arm and hand, I will frequently get a distinct sensation back in the area just finished. Should I go back and observe that sensation until is disappears, or ignore it and continue to look for new sensations?

Answer: The instructions in our tradition are to always keep the attention (i.e., observation of sensation) moving in order through the body. As soon as you experience a sensation in a spot, move further. If a different or stronger sensation in that area comes up after you move away from it, don't jump back. The idea is to observe and accept whatever is arising in a given moment in the area that you are surveying, using the sensation (subtle, gross--whatever) to develop your awareness of anicca, i.e., change or impermanence. Practicing this attitude of acceptance of whatever sensation you can be aware of in a given movement is what trains the mind toward stronger and stronger equanimity.

Question 2. Although I observe some sensations from "within" I usually have more from outside, i.e. pressure of clothing, the bench I'm sitting on or the cushion against my feet. These do not disappear, so just observe them for a while and move on?

Answer: When students first start practicing Vipassana in our tradition, it's common for them to think they are supposed to observe sensations until they change or disappear, but this is not the case. I've often had students come to me saying, "I keep observing it but the pain isn't going away!" I often reply, "The idea isn't to make the pain go away, but to make the mental suffering with the pain go away." We do this by patiently training our minds to accept and observe whatever sensation we are aware of in that part of the body at that moment, observing whatever we can about it.

With things like tingling, pulsing or vibrating, for example, it's easy to feel the "change" in them. But with sensations that feel more solid or dull, we may not be able to be aware of the change but we can still cultivate our understanding that any sensation we are feeling is an indication of change. Sensations are the means to develop our understanding of anicca and our attitude of equanimity, they are not the goal. Any sensation will serve these purposes, including the feeling of clothing, pressure, etc. on the skin or body.

It is not necessary to work inside the body and we don't advise it until it is easy to feel sensations everywhere on the surface of the body and it is easy to move the attention through them in a flow or sweeping movement without blocks. Once this happens, it's usually easier to observe inside. Not that this is better, either. It's just another place to observe sensations. Let it happen naturally.

Question 3. Occasionally the sensation is a pulsing heartbeat, often in the hands or fingers, which continues a long time. So, stay with it even for 10-15 minutes or more?

Answer: As soon as you feel a sensation move further. As I explained above, we do not wait for sensations to go away, or even for us to be able to identify a feeling of change in them if this is not quickly apparent. Sometimes, when the mind is quite concentrated, we can move more slowly and methodically and then spend a little more time (a minute or two) on areas that are apparently blind or blank or have pain to give ourselves time to explore the area. But again, we do this with an attitude of observation of what is there, not trying to make something happen.

Pulsing is a perfectly acceptable sensation to observe. As Goenkaji once told me when I asked him about observing pulsing sensations, "Everything in the universe is pulsing!" Just observe and move further.